So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
