I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
