i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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