thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize