dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
