yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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