Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
