The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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