based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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