So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
