Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
