I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
