Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
