Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
