So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
