my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
