I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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