the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
