Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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