Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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