Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize