There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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