i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
