ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
