u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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