New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I party with great urgency now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
