I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
