is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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