This is not my ceiling
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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