So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
