I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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