I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
