Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
