like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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