I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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