You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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