I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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