Where did you get a picture of my penis
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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