that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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