Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize