"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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