I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
