I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
