Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
