Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
