omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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