Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
