So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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