How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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