Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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