I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
