I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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