just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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