the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
