I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
