chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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