He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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