at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
