So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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