I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
