She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
