You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
