Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
