How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
