I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
