Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
