Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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