I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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