I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
