3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
